In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
