sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
