I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
