it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
