that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
