Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Holy sore nipples Batman
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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