nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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