your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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