So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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