No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize