I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
