I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Holy shit dude........stairs
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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