ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
