Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i believe in u and ur pee
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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