the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
