People in love make me want to vomit
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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