I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
