I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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