Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize