my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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