Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
