garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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