i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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