The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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