Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
