I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
