I'm sorry my penis didn't work
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
