I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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