My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
