Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
