Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
