There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
