Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
3 2 1 whiskey
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
