Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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