So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
