ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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