he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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