the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
