Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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