I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
