She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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