you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
My liver just had a heart attack.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
