Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
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I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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