I cannot find my penis.
kristin has been a bad kristin
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
