I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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