If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
