i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize