Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize