Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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