it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm determined to sit on that face.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
