If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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