I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
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