Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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