dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
