it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
