I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
