Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize