I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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