remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
i now understand why vodka
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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