After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
