There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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